| Location | Arnold, Nottingham |
| Age | 35 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 07/09/1965 |
| Date of Death | 28/09/2000 |
| Visitors | 443 since 02/02/2009 |
| Creator |
Wayne was one of four children. The second son born to Dorothy and George Wardle who are also both deceased.
Wayne had a difficult start in life and was on medication until the age of 14. When it stopped, his problems escalated. He seemed to be always at war with something or someone. He was a very angry person but then on the other side of the coin he was very loving and affectionate. Wayne had a loyalty to his siblings that couldn't be touched by anyone else. If any one of us had an enemy for what ever reason, they would automatically become his enemy too. You only had to call him and he would come to your aid.
Wayne's sense of humor was second to none. Anyone of his friends would vouch for that. But he wore his heart on his sleeve and so was easily hurt. When Wayne split from his long term girlfriend he hit the bottle big time. Life for him had no purpose and he struggled to find happiness and peace. He made numerous attempts upon his life. Nothing seemed to matter much anymore.
Finally, things started to look up. He had sought help with his alcohol addiction and was mulling over starting an open university course. Wayne was very intelligent but had too much time to think.
Obviously with his addiction came health problems. The doctor told him he would need a biopsy on his liver. This would require him to be alcohol free for 24 hours prior to the op. Unfortunately, he couldn't quite manage it and a very nice (not) Doctor with wonderful bedside manner and aware of his previous attempts on his life told him that if he didn't stop drinking he would die and that he needed this biopsy desperately. He couldn't see life without alcohol and so saw no future.
With this thought he went home and drank himself to dispair, believing that the drink was going to kill him anyway, and with that thought in mind he took his own life the way he wanted to. His last words on paper were " i make no apologies for my actions".This will always remind me of how proud he could be.
Wayne was also heroic at times. He took a couple of very bad beatings trying to defend women who were being beaten by their boyfriends.
All in all he was too young to die. 35 is not even the start of someone's life. If only he could see further than the bottom of a bottle.
Happy Birthday
Today your great nephew was born at 3.o8 pm. Owen Wayne Janson-Davis. I know you would have been chuffed to bits and proud as punch. Just wish you were here to spoil him as much as i will.
goodnight xxxxx
Happy Birthday In Heaven - by Winnie Lovett
"Happy Birthday Wayne"
It's sure to be the best one yet,
Though you left us here behind.
Did you think that we'd forget?
Your cake this year, will surely be,
A beauty to behold.
With the icing made of Silver,
And the candles made of Gold.
Yes, your birthday in Heaven,
Will be such a grand affair.
And I know you'll look so lovely,
With a halo in your hair.
The Angels will come from everywhere,
To sing your birthday song.
And I know they'll be so happy,
That you've joined, God's Happy Throng.
No I can't send a card this year,
Or give a gift so fine.
So I'll just send a special prayer,
To that wonderful Brother of yours.
Lost To Suicide - by Rosalind Roberts
If only I could mend a broken heart and ease your pain
You would still be here on earth and make me smile again
But you took it all upon yourself and left us this way
You could not stand to live just one more day.
Some say it’s the easy way out, they haven’t got a clue
Your mind was made up, it was so hard for you to do
We will always love and miss you every single day
What a terrible price that you paid in your own way.
Forever you will be loved never will we ever forget
Someone so special we always live with our regret
That we could not see what was in your head and heart
One day we will all be joined together no longer apart......
copyright© Rosalind Roberts
Don't Judge Me - by Unknown Author
Don't judge me for how I left this world,
Remember the love I gave,
A lot of grief will follow me
For the decision that I made.
Changes appear in everyone's life
Some good, some bad,
The one I chose for myself
Made everyone very sad.
But in time the memories will heal the hurt of hearts
And my presence will be felt by all with an inner peace.
Remember me when the sun is bright and laughter fills the air
And a moonlit night and a whisper of wind
Will tell you I am there.
Don't look down on my family
Or fill their hearts with blame
For my leaving them without good-byes
Has left them so much pain.
If I could go back in time
I would say a last good-bye
I would tell them to look to tomorrow
And for me, please do not cry.
Sorry by Ros Roberts
Sorry is the hardest word that someone can ever say
I wish more had said it to you, before you went away
Maybe things would not be like they are right now
Though we all muddle through life the only way we know how.
Too many broken promises,too many shattered dreams
People just do not care anymore,or so it seems
Sorry that life got you down
You always smiled,never a frown
Sorry that you were a great pretender,you hid your tears well
Though your heart must have been crying,we could not tell
Just how much pain that you had been hiding away
Sorry seems so futile now, to ever even say
Sorry I was not there when you needed a friend
So sorry that you felt the need to always pretend
With the smile that you always had upon your face
You were just too good to live in the human race .....
copyright© Rosalind Roberts
Questions In My Head - by Danielle Benyon-Payne
I look at the last picture of you and me,
A picture shows what we cannot always see.
Eyes that no longer shine, a smile that covers tears,
Only you knew your feelings,
Only you knew your fears.
I look back with hindsight,
Was there something I could have done?
I feel such enormous guilt,
And I know I’m not the only one.
Why couldn’t you share with us,
How down you really were?
Did you think we wouldn’t understand?
Think we wouldn’t care?
Did you really think life would be better for us this way?
Would life really have been unbearable for you if you had stayed?
I understand life was hard for you, in a way I’ve never known,
But we would have been there for you, you would never be alone.
When we were out that night, were you aware?
Did you know it was our last night together?
Is that why we were there?
I think back over every detail, what was said? What did we do?
Did I make it clear, in every way, that I loved being there with you?
I meant to tell you that weekend, what a lovely time I had,
But time ran away with me, and now I feel sad,
That I never made it back to yours,
To tell you what I meant to say,
And now my chance has been taken away.
So I’ll tell you now instead, I love you, I miss you.
My world stopped the moment you died.
I run through the motions,
But something has changed inside,
I love you, miss you, always.
Who's To Blame? - by Christine Ross
Who's to blame for suicide?
The question often heard.
Someone always points a finger
And they say such hurtful words.
They never do consider that
It's caused from a disease.
Depression and Bipolar
Are just a few of these.
Some die from being murdered.
Some die from accidents.
Some die from pneumonia,
But none of it makes sense.
Sometimes body parts wear out
Way before their time.
Some lose the cancer battle,
But it all seems so unkind.
No matter how they leave us
It never is their choice.
There's something deep within them
That has a bigger voice.
So please refuse to take the blame
For the THING that took your Brother.
Although others point their fingers.
They haven't walked your mile.
KEEP MY MEMORY
Keep my memory with you,
For memories never die.
I will be there with you,
When you look across the sky.
I will be there in the clouds,
In the birds that fill the air.
In the beauty of a fragrant rose,
You will find my memory there.
You will feel me in the tenderness,
Of a tiny baby's touch.
You will hear me if you listen,
In the twilight's gentle hush.
When your hearts are heavy,
And you feel that you are alone.
Just reach down deep inside of you,
For your heart is now my home.
I will always be with you,
I will never go away.
For I will live on in your hearts,
Forever and a day
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